White Hair, Red Blood, Black Memories
by Uroboros187
Summary: The Slayer remembers Spike. Spike remembers the Slayer. An Angel watches. Part 2 of the Falling Verse
1. Chapter 1

Title: **White Hair, Red Blood, Black Memories**

Summary: The Slayer remembers Spike. Spike remembers the Slayer. Part 2 of the _Falling Verse_

Characters: Spike, Mary (OFC), Dean, Lisa, Ben, Castiel

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing

Author Note: Having some writer's block, decided to throw out a unlinear story from the _Falling_ _Verse_ (Supernatural/Buffyverse crossover) to get the juices flowing again.

* * *

><p>"Ow.. Jesu..ow..." Mary opened her hazel eyes for a moment before squeezing them tight with a wince as pain flared all over her body, like stabbing red hot pins and needles. She let out some fluid curses in several languages before she went limp and blacked out.<p>

* * *

><p><em>A scream.<em>

_The horrified scream._

_The gurgling scream._

_The overwrought-with-pain scream._

_The surprised scream._

_It was always the dead silence after the final scream that woke her up as a child._

* * *

><p>Mary opened her eyes, this time blinking away the fuzziness.<p>

She stretched her body out, trying to gauge her current condition. She curled dirt under her fingers, her cheek was pressed against the ground, something sharp was jabbing her in the chest and she felt something wet against her stomach. Praying that it was blood, not hers mind you, she shifted her hips and felt something scratch her knees before she pulled her feet up to the side, her toes wiggling in their shoes.

Satisfied that she had all her body parts, she let out a deep breathe before rolling over to her back with a huffing groan. Her body was heavy, lethargic and oh so weak but she could still move if a bit slowly. She blinked a few times to clear her fuzzy vision before looking around her.

The sky was dark but there was a full moon and the stars were out, shining brightly as if what just happened didn't matter. And it was true, stars didn't care because they were already dead but it mattered to her and that is what counted. She cared. So did...

"Spike?" she croaked out, spotting the bleach blonde vampire laying face down not far from her. "Spike!" she coughed, her throat hoarse and dry. After the coughing fit passed, she worked up the effort to roll over again, put her hands under her and with a hefty groan pushed herself up to her hands and knees. Taking a break to catch her breath and build up some strength she started to make her way to her friend.

Spike is important to her. Very important. In all her life, she never had anyone who she held as close to her heart like her family but him. Well she had the angel but he was on a whole different level than everyone else. She expected more but Spike?

Spike was a vampire. A demon. A creature of the night that drank blood to survive. She didn't expect anything from him because of what he is. It was kinda cruel to think of him like that after all they've been through but she couldn't fight against an instinct that had been passed down for hundreds of years through girls that had fought and died against creatures like him. Or the two girls who had died by his hands.

* * *

><p><em>A plead for forgiveness from her mother.<em>

"_Sorry luv, I don't speak Chinese."_

_A snap of her neck._

"_Every Slayer has a death wish."_

_All ended by this monster with feral yellow eyes and sharp, sharp teeth._

_Hidden under a facade of bright blue eyes, charming smile and a dark silky voice._

* * *

><p>But Spike was part of her life, part of her inner circle, one part of her trinity that she needed to keep alive and to keep fighting. He's been with her almost from the beginning and she couldn't lose him now. Not now. She loved him. She trusted him. She needed him.<p>

"Spike."

She reached his side and ran her fingers through the loose curls that broke free from the gel that normally held them back. He hated his curls with a vengeance because they reminded him of his earlier days as a vampire and a human. Of someone who was weak and innocent...who put his trust in the wrong people and paid the price for that trust with his heart.

But she loved his curls. They made him more human, she thought, of someone who didn't need to put up a front when with her. Of someone who can bare his soul and heart without worrying about being hurt or used. Spike could be himself with her and she was glad.

_"Spike...please?"_ she pleaded, dropping to lay next to him. _"Please."_

He didn't respond and show no signs of life. On any normal person, this would have twisted her insides in dread but Spike was a vampire. Nothing could kill a vampire except a stake through the heart, beheading or fire. They turned to dust and ash; leaving nothing behind. Spike was still here...she was touching him right now so she remained hopeful as she closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>"<em>Am I dreaming? I am dreaming aren't I? This isn't real. You can't be real."<em>

_A man stood in front of her, covered head to toe in black, smoke curling from the end of his cigarette as he puffed on the small cancer stick. He walked towards her, throwing his cigarette to the ground, stepping on it with the heel of his boot._

"_But it is luv, all of this here, what you see in front of you and what you see when you sleep," the blonde man he crouched in front of her, his blue eyes holding her hostage. "All those are real. Sorry luv, but you've been Chosen."_

"_For what?"_

_"Into every generation she is born: one girl in all the world, a chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer." He reached out and touched her cheek, sliding his fingers down her face before letting his hand fall away. "And that's you."_

"_I can't be a Slayer. I'm too young. Daddy won't like it. He doesn't even let me walk down the street by myself anymore. And Ben will be so mad...!"_

"_The Slayer."_

"_Huh?"_

"_Not a Slayer luv. You're __**It**__. The Chosen One...you're the one, true blue blood, original Slayer." _

"_But-But that means...if I'm the Slayer..." Mary let the dreams she remembered pass through her as her heart pounded in her chest and her stomach clenched into knots. Dreams of fighting, of running, of anger and pain and tears and envy rushed through her as she dropped to her knees._

_It was too much._

"_If I'm the Slayer then..."_

_Too much for a little girl who only turned 11 three hours ago. She was supposed to have a party today, she got dressed in her real black angel wings...she asked for pie instead of cake because she took after Daddy, who loved pie. She got a card from Grandpa Bobby, something he sent to her months ago before he died on a hunting trip and she was finally going to open it. It felt heavy so she knew he had sent her a gift of some kind. Ben was going to play her a song with his band, something he wrote just for her. Mom was going to smile and laugh and forget all about the stupid nightmares she kept having that scared her._

_Even her best friend in the whole wide world said he was going to make a trip to see her on her very special day. And he was always so busy, so very busy making sure that the world was safe from his brother and his followers._

"_**SHE**__ had to die."_

_Mary felt her vision blur as tears slid down her cheeks. A sob tore from her lips and she quickly turned away. Brave girls didn't cry. Tears never solved anything. She wasn't hurt or bleeding or had any broken bones. So she shouldn't be crying._

_But she was hurt. Her heart was broken._

"_Mary!"_

_Daddy yelled for her and she quickly wiped away her tears. If Daddy saw that she was crying, he would be angry at the man behind her. They would fight and she was afraid he would be hurt. She only wanted Daddy to be happy. "Mary?"_

"_Here I am Daddy!" she waved him over, stepping towards him as he quickly picked her up in his arms, checking her over and she saw that she had upset him. A pang hit her heart and she quickly hid her face in his neck. "I'm sorry Daddy, I didn't mean to run away from everyone."_

"_Who the hell are you and what are you doing with my little girl?" Daddy demanded from the blonde man, his voice deep and hot as he was in protective mode. "If you hurt her, I swear to God I'll-"_

"_He didn't hurt me Daddy. We were just talking." Mary pulled back from his shoulder to meet his eyes. "Daddy, he knows. He knows why I've been having those bad dreams."_

_Daddy glared at the man, looking him over before muttering, __**"Christo."**_

"_Dean Winchester I presume?" the man asked, his scarred eyebrow quirked at the word Daddy muttered. "My name is Spike and I've come to you on behalf of the Watcher's Council. I need to talk to you about your daughter Mary."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not mine (except OC Mary), just playing with them.**

* * *

><p>Spike felt a warmth at his side and over his hand. It felt nice.<p>

But the rest of his body was stiff from the cold air and he groaned as he struggled to move closer to that warmth that he felt.

Because there was only one person who would offer him that warmth from her body and he needed to protect it.

Because he swore to protect her.

And he never went back on a promise.

He covered the Slayer with his coat and pulled her close, settling her chest to chest with his arm thrown over her before blacking out, the last of his strength fading.

* * *

><p>"-care what they say! Mary isn't going!" Daddy was yelling.<p>

"Dean! Mary needs this, you know that!" Mommy yelled back.

It's been like this since the party ended. Probably even before it ended because the man with blonde hair had stuck around after Daddy passed her off to Mommy to take to the party. Mary had kept her eyes on the man with the white hair, who she knew wasn't a man at all but a vampire and Daddy the whole time before she was drawn in with the games, friends and family. When she thought to look for him, he was gone and Daddy was back at the party with his fake smile.

So she faked smiled too when she felt like crying.

"I don't trust them. They could be lying about everything. They could be demons for all I know!"

"How? How could you know? Mary can't sleep a full night and she spends her days alone-"

Mary flinched, pulling her legs closer to her chest as she and Ben sat upstairs, just out of sight of their parents listening to them fight. They've never fought like this before and it was scary. Ben put an arm around Mary, giving her a hug before she got up and ran to her room, slamming the door.

Mary grabbed her pillow and screamed into it, falling to the ground. _This wasn't supposed to happen._ She felt like this was all her fault and she couldn't stand it. She wanted to run but running away never solved problems; it just made more but she couldn't stay here.

So she opened her window and climbed out to the roof. She carefully walked over to the edge and jumped for the limb of the tree that grew close. She had seen Ben do this a few times when he went out late at night or came home early in the morning. When she reached the ground she ran to the garage and slipped through the door, all the while missing the man in black who stood in the shadows, listening to the fight in the house.

With a sigh, he followed after the girl.

* * *

><p>Spike groaned in pain, taking in a unneeded breathe as around him his crew carried him to the ship. He blinked his eyes open, wincing at the faint light from the rising sun stabbed his eyes. He croaked out a question.<p>

"Where's Mary?"

"Being taken care of Sire." answered Rory, formerly known at Bug 12 and currently in charge of the ship while Spike is out fighting.

"Good." Spike says before he passes out.

* * *

><p>Spike followed the girl into the garage and stopped when he entered. It wasn't very big, just big enough to hold the sheet covered car and all the tools that laid on the long table that took up one wall and other junk people tended to collect. Over the smell of gas, oil, dust and cut grass, he followed the scent of the girl to the car.<p>

"-wish you were here. You always know what to do." he could hear her talking under the sheet and he wondered if she had grabbed a cell before she escape her house. "I missed you at the party too. If you were there, maybe it would have been better. You could have stopped that-_vampire_ from talkin' to Daddy. He's so mad right now. He and Mommy are fightin' and I know its my fault."

Spike scratched his head, wishing that the witch had sent someone else to take care of this instead of him before tapping on the glass. There was a sound, like rustling followed by the sound of the window being lowered. He reached down to grab some of the fabric and lifted it to see Mary with a sharp knife pointed at him.

"Whoa there bit." he commented, holding one hand up to ward her off.

"What do you want Spike?" she asked, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She had a brown leather coat draped over her shoulders, swallowing her small frame. It made her look more like the child that she was and he hated that he had to come all this way just to change her world.

"You know who I am?" Spike asked surprised. Mary nodded and tapped a finger to her temple. "Ah right...the memories." He flipped the cover over the car so he could talk with his hands free. "I just wanted to talk. See how you're holding up? Offer you a shoulder to lean on? Lend you my ears?"

"Like you care..." Mary kept the knife up as she scooted back into the car, her hazel green eyes fixed on him.

"I do luv. More than anything right now, I care..."

* * *

><p>Spike came to in his room. It was quiet, only the thrumming of the engines and the hum of the bugs as they skittered about doing their daily chores. He winced as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, grabbing his head as a throbbing skull piercing pain hit him. He growled out a curse, catching the attention of one of the bugs as it was walking by.<p>

"Sire. You are awake? Would you like something to eat?" the bug asked as it walked into his room. Spike nodded, instantly regretting it as the room blurred. "Yes, Sire, right away."

It turned and walked out of the room as Spike flopped back on the bed, promising himself that he was just going to close his eyes to keep the room from spinning.

* * *

><p>Spike watched Mary, the first Slayer called since Buffy destroyed the Seed of Magic, fight like the warrior she was. She was a natural, jumping and turning, kicking and punching like she had fought against vampires her whole life. Mary had been a Slayer now for a year and she had the dreams and memories for almost two years.<p>

She was 13 years old now and she had left home. Maybe not for the final time but these trips out on her own to fight against vampires, demons and monsters had now become a part of her life. One part that her father had clearly hated with a passion.

Fights in the household had risen between father and daughter, between mother and father and sister and brother since he had gone to Kansas. The only thing they didn't fight about were the twins who the whole family seemed to love more than anything. Spike could remember clearly when Mary had come running at him with the largest grin on her face as she told him that the twins first words were _"Mary"_.

Nothing could take her off that cloud nine. Not stopping a blood thirsty cult from ending the world, or a serial monster attacking women in Portland Oregon, or even finding out that her favorite instructor at Slayer HQ absolutely hated the angel because he had taken her Dad's body as a vessel.

"Spike come on! Don't let me take this whole bunch by myself!" Mary yelled as she flipped over one vampire to stake another in the chest.

"Why not?" he asked from his seat atop of a headstone. "Looks to me you're doin' fine. They're only fledges after all."

"You white haired jerk!" she yelled, kicking a vampire over a tombstone as hard as she could before turning her full attention to the other, her stake held tightly in her hand. "Fine! But if something happens to me, you know who will be pissed all to hell at you!" She kicked the vampire attacking with the heel of her boot to his chin before launching herself at him.

Spike didn't worry.

Mary could take on the last two vampires. He had faith in her skills because after all, she had learned from the best...him. He lit up another cigarette, looking up at the sky when he heard a crunch and looked over to see Mary laying on the ground, bleeding from the head. The vampire she had kicked over had earlier somehow tore free a stone angel from one of the headstones and smashed her over the head when she was fighting the other one.

He quickly jumped in and put an end to the two vampires, making sure that they died painfully. He started towards the fallen Slayer. "Mary!"

A flutter of wings startled him and he turned to the man with the dark hair and tan overcoat. His blue eyes were burning bright and furious as he turned away from Spike to check on Mary. He put two fingers against her forehead and she woke with a soft gasp.

"Cas!"

* * *

><p>"Sire?" Spike looked up to see that the bug from earlier had indeed went and grabbed some blood for him. Spike sat up and grabbed for the packets, draining one after another quickly. Not a minute later, the headache was gone and he felt better. At least now the room wasn't spinning. "Anything else Sire?"<p>

"Take me to Mary."

Spike found the Slayer laying in the medical wing where they usually kept the grubs. Since it wasn't that time yet, it was clean and bare though it smelled a bit. Something he knew Mary would complain about as soon as she woke up. If she woke up...

"What's all this Doc?" he asked the bug that was running medical, fingering the clear tubes that ran to Mary. Though it wasn't exactly official, this bug was a quick learner in human biology and it was usually the one that treated Spike or Mary when the need arose. The name came as a way to know its station and as a joke.

"Well Sire, " Doc replied as it tended to Mary. "Those are to supply her body with much needed liquid nutrients. Much like you, she has been out for quite awhile."

"A while? Exactly how long was I out for?" Spike asked as he dropped IV drips.

"Well we had waited for the suggested 24 hours to continue our repairs on the ship after you left before we began our search for you and the Slayer. The area you were in was quite large and since our sensors did not work, per the electrical interferences, we had to move on foot." Doc explained, lifting Mary's limp wrist up and checked her pulse. "It took us 4 hours to find you. The weather was quite cold."

"How long?"

"You have been unconscious for an entire two weeks Sire."

"Bugger." Spike cursed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The others would be wondering about Mary around now and with no contact between them and his ship, they were probably thinking she was dead after seeing the wreckage they had made at the Devil's Gate.

If they searched the place, and he knew they would thoroughly, with no sign of Mary, it wouldn't be too far fetched to come up with her dying there. God, he could already picture them calling up Papa Winchester and telling him the bad news. "Did you contact the Council about us?"

"Yes, I believe Acting Captain Rory contacted them about five hours ago to update them about your condition." Doc replied.

"Great. Perfect." Spike groaned though it was far from _perfect_. Or_ great_. He needed to get a hold of the angel. "I need to find a phone."

He brushed Mary's hair out of her face, sliding a thumb over her lips to feel her breathe over the pad before he went out to find a phone.

* * *

><p>Spike watched her sleep in the backseat of the sleek black car, her head pillowed by his leather coat and snuggled under a large leather brown coat with her knees drawn up to fit. She was growing like crazy and was still getting used to all the changes her body was going through this summer of her 15th year. It required more training to get her aim up to par and shifting her balance around to get back to where she was before everything went to hell.<p>

This was one of those rare peaceful nights where she could sleep in and not worry about the mission or her life in general.

It was nice.

They were parked out in the middle of nowhere, just him, her and the stars.

Oh and the angel.

The other man, if he could call him that, was standing in a distance, stiff as a board with his hands tucked in the pockets of his overcoat and staring up at the stars, listening to the chatter. _Angel chatter_, he said when Mary asked why he stood away like that alone, _to hear how my brothers and sisters were doing up in Heaven while I'm was gone._

Mary always pushed Spike to get to know the man, angel but that deep primal instinct that Spike followed always pushed to fight or run, to dominate or submit to the other more powerful member of their group. She didn't understand that demons and angels couldn't be friends with each other. It was against their very nature.

But then again, he couldn't understand how he could have fallen for the young girl so fast. His undead heart still beat for the One True Slayer but for now, his every undrawn breathe was for the girl who cried, laughed, fought, bitched and lied and spoke truthfully about what she saw was unfair.

She was rapidly becoming his whole world and everyone knew it. The angel had watched him every second they were together, his blue eyes fixed on their interactions and though it drove Spike crazy at first, he accepted it. The angel was closely involved with Mary as well, maybe more so since he knew Mary since birth. He had warned Spike, very early on and once more when Spike realized what was happening to him in a deep, low growly voice.

_**"Hurt her and I shall throw you into the deepest darkest pit of Hell myself."**_

He took another draw of the cigarette. Mary would never let him smoke in the car. She didn't care he smoked, but if he ruined the interior because of his habit she would shove a stake so far up his ass he would feel it in his throat and the look in her eyes when she said it made him believe it.

Mary loved that car more than she loved him. A sore point for him but one he didn't mind. After all he had years...years to watch her grow, years to teach her, years to show her just how much she means to him.

For now, he was just glad to be called her friend.

* * *

><p>"Come on you great feathered poofter...pick up the bloody phone for once..." Spike growled as he held the cell phone to his ear, listening to it ring on the other end. "Come on!"<p>

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered.

"About time you big bird! Do you know how long I've been tryin' to reach you?" Spike growled into the phone.

"This is the first time you've called me."

"Yeah well you shoulda answered on the first ring." Spike heard the other man, angel sigh on the other end. "Listen, I'm calling you because we stopped the world from ending."

"Yes. I have seen the battle site. You destroyed 12 acres of forest land and sent most of the demons back through the Devil's Gate. We are taking care of the ones that had escaped."

"Bastard!" Spike said good naturally. "Listen, this isn't time for a friendly chat. Mary needs you."

"Where are you?" The voice got dark fast and Spike was glad he was on the phone instead of face to face though he knew that soon it would be a moot point.

"On my ship. Over the Rocky Mountains heading towards Boulder Colorado-"

A whoosh of air and the flutter of wings followed by the startled shrieks from the bugs announced the arrival of the angel. Spike grinned as the bugs quickly abandoned their posts to cower from the angel. They were naturally skittish around feathered creatures.

"Castiel, welcome aboard."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Don't forget to REVIEW!<em>**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

* * *

><p>Castiel was created, an angel.<p>

Earth was created, a blue planet alone.

Then Man was created, a king above all others.

Angels love God above all others, as was the Will of Heaven.

Angels told to love Man above God, unworthy flawed creatures.

Castiel found that he was alone in this feeling, to be in awe of his Father's creations.

* * *

><p>Castiel remained where he stood, waiting for the vampire to approach him while his insect subjects cowered from him as they usually did when he appeared. He did not understand why. He had never showed any ill will towards them.<p>

Though he did show some frustration with the man who walked towards him.

"Spike..."

Spike held his hands up to calm Castiel. "Now hold on before you get all wrath-of-God on me. We couldn't wait on you. Mary would have liked to but plans were moving along too fast. We needed to act fast before things got a hella lot worse. Hell being the prime word here."

"Yes. I understand why you couldn't wait. What I don't understand is why did it take you so long to contact me." Castiel said. "I've been hearing prayers for Mary's soul for the last week. And vicious curses from a certain father who wishes to shove things where they do not belong upon my vessel...and yours. Sometimes very slowly."

"Bloody Hell! Those wankers just love to cause trouble for us." Spike cursed under his breath before answering Castiel's question. "I was out. This is the first time I've been awake for longer than a few seconds."

"We must fix this. Dean has suffered more than enough in his lifetime. He has lost so much; he cannot lose a daughter." Castiel replied, his eyes focused on fixing the problem in front of him. Many things were still beyond his control but getting Mary back to Dean was something he could do.

"Take me to Mary."

* * *

><p>Michael and Lucifer are trapped in Hell.<p>

Gabriel is dead. So is Zachariah.

Raphael is a problem.

Castiel knew all of this as he faced the remaining angels who had come to see him, in awe and wonder as he, a soldier who raised the Righteous Man from perdition and then rebelled against Heaven's plan.

Castiel had died by Raphael's hand.

God brought him back.

Castiel had become hunted by his own brothers and sisters as he worked alongside the human vessels of Michael and Lucifer's, Sam and Dean Winchester as they defied destiny again and again. He slowly became human, losing everything that made him an angel.

Castiel died by Lucifer's hand.

God brought him back...new and improved.

God still had not returned to Heaven therefore with the war over, Heaven was in chaos. With no clear leader, Castiel took it upon himself to lead Heaven in His absence. Understanding that chaos was different in Heaven than elsewhere, it still took Castiel a very long time to sort through what needed to be done before he could set forward with a plan.

It was then he felt something change on earth, a jolt that pulled on his grace and he went to investigate.

It was a partly cloudy night, the moon dark in its new moon phase of the lunar cycle, so the stars that were normally dimmed by its light were shining brightly. They gleamed like sparking gems but they paled to what he saw and felt from the yard as he looked towards the house of his friend.

Needing a close look, he flapped his wings quietly and appeared in the bedroom of Dean Winchester and his girlfriend Lisa Braeden, both asleep and slightly sweaty. He approached the bed they shared, his movements unnoticed by them as he was out of sync with the natural world around him. He was pretty sure that Dean would not appreciate him appearing out of nowhere after all this time and in their room.

But the spark...the beautiful spark drew him in as he watched it grow brighter and stronger as the seconds passed. The urge to reach out and touch it was strong, so strong that he had to stop himself because he had heard from Dean that people shouldn't touch what didn't belong to them.

The spark of life that was growing in Lisa Braeden did not belong to him.

So he took his leave to avoid the temptation, leaving his blessings and joy for his friend.

Nine months later he returned and saw Mary Ellen Winchester open her eyes for the first time, locking eyes with the girl who would once again, change his outlook on the world and people in it like her father did before her.

* * *

><p>Mary looked like she was sleeping. She reminded Castiel of that sleeping beauty story Lisa used to read to Mary when she was a child before she decided that she liked Dean's stories about ghosts, demons and angels better.<p>

Castiel didn't like this look at all, he hated it fiercely, he decided and will do all he could to take that look away from her. Her hair laid on the pillow, spread out like golden brown waves, the same shade of color like her father. Her eyes were closed, hiding her soul that were written in their depths from the world. Her warmth was fading slowly, leaving her skin cool to the touch. Even the normal tan of her skin seemed faded.

"She's dying." Castiel announced to Spike and Doc as they waited quietly as Castiel checked Mary's vitals. "It seems that her life essence is slipping away though I cannot sense a reason why as of yet." He looked up at Doc as it twittered nervously, its limbs rubbing together, creating a slight chirping noise.

"Her vitals were strong two weeks ago. I assumed that her Slayer healing would have taken care of her physical injuries, which they did but for reasons unknown, she got weaker and weaker as days went by." Doc replied. "I've done all that I can. Whatever affliction she has, it is beyond my skills. I apologize."

"There is no need." Castiel said pressing his fingers on Mary's forehead and closed his eyes. After a second, he opened his eyes and looked to Spike. "This is mystical in nature. Someone had put a curse on her, most likely at the point of death."

"A death curse?" Spike felt his stomach tie itself into knots when Castiel nodded solemnly.

A death curse was powerful magic, something powerful witches or wizards carried on themselves against their foes. It could be used at any time, costing the caster their lives, or at their time of death at which point it became the most powerful.

The curse kills...that was the whole point of it. It could be instantaneous or last a very long time, depending on the will and skill of the caster. It could be specific on how someone died, "In a fire on the eve of the 30th birthday" or open ended and vague, "Die alone."

Most casters were vicious enough to want the person the curse fell upon to die bloody and horrible. Since the caster who cursed Mary was dead, it would be impossible to find out how, when or why. It couldn't be lifted.

Mary was going to die.

* * *

><p>Mary was going to live a full and happy life. That is what everyone was saying as she ran around with the neighborhood kids at the park two blocks from the Winchester household.<p>

She was joyful, kind, caring, brave, curious and any mother would love to have her as a future daughter-in-law if only to have her in their family. At least that is what the mother's talked about as they sat on the park benches gossiping. Lisa tended to agree, all smiles and shy thanks.

She sat on the park bench, watching as Mary play with the other children. She wore a pair of blue jeans, tennis shoes and a AC/DC t-shirt that used to belong to Dean before Lisa had sewn it for her. At the tender age of eight, Mary was already working her magic over everyone she had met.

She was loved.

And it brought the strongest man Castiel knew to his knees when she disappeared that day. No one could understand how she could just disappear in broad daylight with parents watching and so many kids running around. The police used dogs to sniff for her trail that ended in the playground. There was no one suspicious people around. No news of recent animal attacks. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But it was.

Castiel stood at the bench Lisa had sat at earlier that day and he cannot find Mary. He has scoured the earth from the top of Mount Everest to the continental shelf, from the Eastern Hemisphere to the Western, Northern and Southern with no sign of her. When that didn't work, he went to Heaven to search for her soul but its not here nor there. He didn't look into Hell because he was certain she had done nothing to warrant Hell grabbing her.

There was no trace of her.

Of all the things he prided himself on, was his ability to know exactly where Mary was at any given time. Ever since she was conceived, that spark that gave her life was always at the front of his thoughts. When he was in Heaven, he felt it, when he was halfway across the world, he sensed it, when he was flying pass the dying stars whose lights would reach Earth thousands of years after it was dead, he could see it as if seeing it in front of his eyes.

He had a garrison pulled from battle to search for her, let them use whatever grace of Heaven to find her while he flew to be with Dean in his time of need. He spent hours standing quietly, following the family as they struggled through this terrible time, giving comfort to them the best he could without them know he was there.

He would have revealed himself when he first arrived but he had heard Dean's vehement rant against demons and good for nothing angels when Lisa made a mention of Dean's former life. Dean was so certain in his belief that Mary's disappearance had nothing to do with the supernatural that if Castiel appeared in front of him, Dean would fall apart.

Castiel couldn't do that to him.

And so he waited and listened.

72 hours later, Mary reappeared at the park.

"Mary." Castiel walked up to her, his relief apparent on his face as he kneel beside her. He was the first one to find her, the other angels appearing one by one until she was surrounded by angels. She was sitting on the grass, her legs folded under her as she looked up at the night sky, taking in the splendor of the stars and moon. She didn't appear any different from when she disappeared.

"Oh. Hello Castiel." Mary greeted him with a smile. "Hello everyone else."

Castiel looked over his shoulders at the angels gathered and gave them a nod to return to Heaven. With the flutter of wings, they were gone, leaving him and Mary alone.

"Let's take you home." Castiel said, holding out his hand. "Your parents are looking for you."

"Okay." Mary stood up and placed her hand in his. "Let's go." He made sure that he had a firm hold on her, afraid that she would somehow be taken away from him again. As they walked, he watched as she added a skip to her steps, unafraid and calm. This wasn't the reaction of a child who had been kidnapped or stolen away.

When they reached her house, she stopped and tugged at his hand. He bent down when she beckoned him and she kissed him on the cheek. She pulled away with a soft smile and a rosy pink on her cheeks.

"Thank you." she said before she ran up the walkway to her house. She stopped at the porch and waved at him with a question in her eyes. At his nod, she pushed open her door and called for her family.

Before he left he saw that Dean was the first to reach her, picking her up in his arms and holding on to her tightly. Lisa joined him a second later followed by Ben. Castiel will see her tomorrow as promised.

* * *

><p>Castiel stood off in a small corner of the room, listening to the chatter of his brothers and sisters up in Heaven. He has sent out an inquiry to the most knowledgeable angels under his command to search for something to counteract this curse. He was sure that there was one, all they needed was time. Unfortunately there was very little of it left.<p>

He assured Spike that there was three hours left at the most. After that, Mary would be gone from the living world. Spike didn't take comfort from that, breaking his hand on Castiel's face. Castiel healed the hand before he pulled away from the vampire as he raged at the unfairness of this whole affair.

That was an hour ago.

Spike had never left her side, sitting next to her bedside and praying for a miracle. Castiel heard his every thought and felt helpless to console the creature who had been at Mary's side since she had been called as the Slayer.

Through thick and thing, through the fights and the make-ups, to the break ups and the reconciliations from high of success to the bitter fall of failure, Spike had been there right along with him and Mary. If asked, Castiel could say that he trusted the vampire with Mary's life and well being. So to see the vampire who had felt so deeply for her, fall into despair brought back the bitter memories of another man who had fallen into despair.

Dean had sold his soul to a demon to bring Sam back to life.

Would Spike do the same?

* * *

><p>Castiel was in Heaven leading this army of angels against Raphael's forces when he felt the change happen. It was so startling that he lost focus and was stabbed in the wing while in mid flight. He called out for his second in command to take control before he fell.<p>

He landed in the Alps, causing a avalanche. When he managed to pull himself out of the ice and snow and rocks, he took flight to the one person who could distract him like that. He made his landing as soft as possible to not disturb the sleeping girl.

Mary was curled around a large stuffed tiger that Dean had won for her the pass summer at the traveling fair. It was a shooting game and of course, he managed to win the top prize. It was her favorite toy and she carried it everywhere she went. Now she held it tight, her fingers tearing into the fur as she was in the throes of a nightmare.

One of many he knew as he collapsed by her bed, reaching out with trembling fingers. He wasn't sure if it was because of the pain and effort it took to reach her or if it was the emotion he felt knowing that Mary had been Chosen.

The Chosen girls were held in the highest honor in Heaven. As warriors of good, they were given absolution for any sins they made have committed, no matter how dire or wrong it was. After all, they all died so young and in the most terrible of ways.

He prayed to God that night as he stayed with her, comforting her as he could as she dreamed the past lives of her sisters, and asked why did she had to be Chosen, why did Dean have to suffer knowing that someone he loved would die? Did He not care that the Winchesters had suffered lost and grief for so long? _Couldn't they have some peace?_

He received no answer.

Eventually he had to return to Heaven but he swore to come back to her and help her come to terms with her fate. Maybe she would ignore the call as there were already other Slayers in the world. Maybe she could live a normal life like Dean. With that hope in mind, he left.

When he found time to return, he discovered that someone had already informed Dean of Mary's fate. He wasn't taking it very well.

He went to Mary's room to find her awake in bed, holding her tiger to her chest, fingering the tears in its fur. He sat down on her bed, within reaching distance.

"Hello Mary."

"Can you take it away?"

Castiel frowned at the question. "I don't-"

"You have to know already. I talked to you all the time about what happened. Didn't you hear me?" Castiel nodded. He had heard Mary's prayers and now he understood what she was asking.

"I cannot. Its not in my power." he replied softly solemn. Mary nodded, wiping at her tears as she curled around her tiger. "I am sorry."

"I was asking too much." Mary commented as she shifted so she could lay with her head in his lap. She didn't look at him, in fact, Castiel realized that she had been avoiding his eyes the whole time and he frowned. Since Mary was born, her eyes had searched for his whenever he came to check up on the family. "But I had to ask, I just had to. I don't want these scary dreams anymore. Spike says that they're not scary dreams but memories. He doesn't know! I can't sleep without seeing those scary things. I wake up Mom and Dad and Ben and the twins!" She grabbed for his hand, intertwining their fingers and pulled them close.

"I'm tired Cas, but I don't wanna sleep." Mary whispered, voicing how she felt about what was happening to her. Castiel ran his other hand over Mary's head, soothing her with his voice, feeling her relax slightly.

Mary and Castiel were close.

A bond had grown between them to the point that she sought his company even if other people were around. It had become stronger since her disappearance. Lisa had thought he was an imaginary friend Mary had created while Dean had gone through several wards just to be sure that Mary's invisible friend wasn't a ghost or demon. Luckily for Castiel, Dean never figured out how to correctly paint angelic wards.

"Cas?" Mary looked up at him then. He could see why she didn't want him to look into her eyes. She was scared, overwhelmed by memories that weren't her own and guilt. She had somehow felt that this whole thing was her fault. He want to reassure her but she spoke before he could act. "Can you stay and keep the scary dreams away? For tonight at least?" Her eyes begged him to say yes and Castiel found as he always did, that he could never refuse a Winchester.

"Of course. Sleep. I will be here."

She sat up and kissed him on the cheek before laying back down, getting herself comfortable for the long night. She didn't ask him to speak or to comfort her. Him being here was comfort enough to keep the nightmares away...at least for tonight.

Around midnight, Dean walked quietly into the room. Castiel remained invisible to his old friend and watched as Dean picked Mary up from the middle of the bed where she laid with her head still on Castiel's lap and put her in bed properly. Castiel stood off to the side as Dean took up his vigilant. Mary would be protected for tonight.

With a slight flutter of wings, he left.

A week later he was called on by Mary.

* * *

><p>A groan rose from Mary, breaking the silence in the room. Spike lifted his head from its resting place on their joined hands. He looked up as Mary's eyelids fluttered open and she frowned in discomfort, shifting slightly.<p>

"Mary?" Spike's felt his chest squeeze tightly as she looked at him, her eyes a bit groggy but becoming clearer as the seconds ticked by. "Mary!"

"Mary, I am glad you are awake." Castiel said from the other side of the bed. Mary's eyes drifted over to him. "You have been out a long time."

Mary opened her mouth and a cough comes out. Her eyes widen as a coughing fit hits her, shaking her whole body and forcing Spike to release his hold on her hand as she struggles to get it under control. Doc is at her side, quickly, holding out a cup of water which Mary quickly drinks. The coughing is reduced greatly and Mary lays back on her pillows, her skin pale and her breathing deep and quick.

Castiel touched her forehead and allows some of his grace to soothe away her discomfort, which she readily accepts.

"Thanks Cas." Mary said, her breathing slowly and more normal. She closes her eyes for a moment before looking over at Spike. "Hey there."

"Hey back." Spike said.

"What's with the long face Spike? We won didn't we?" Mary grins at him. When Spike didn't answer, she turned to Castiel. "We did right?"

"Yes. Hell is still closed at the Devil's Gate." Castiel replied with a nod. Mary sighed loudly, before pushing at Spike. "Don't freak me out like that! Jeez, for a moment there, I thought the world was ending...again!"

Spike gave her a halfhearted smile. "There it is. Spike, we won! Where's the party and the booze? The frolicking half dressed women!"

Castiel turned his gaze to Spike, who squirmed under the angel's stare. "Oi! Don't get me in trouble with the angel here!" Spike protested.

Mary laughed. "Don't worry Spike. Cas just gets uncomfortable when people mention half dressed women. It brings back memories of his trip to a den of iniquity."

Spike broke out into a laugh as Mary went on to tell him about Castiel's only trip to a brothel. Castiel allowed this small peace, to let Mary and Spike release some of the pent up emotions they had been carrying since the case of Hell opening up at the Devil's Gate came to their laps. Because after this, the reality of Mary dying would come ahead and Mary would have to face her mortality.

* * *

><p>Mary is 11 and sleeping in a room at the Slayer Academy in Scotland the next time Castiel is able to visit. The war in Heaven has stepped up and he hasn't found time to visit like he used to. Once Mary called for him at the beginning of the summer but he was unable to respond so he sent Rachel, his lieutenant to see what Mary needed.<p>

Rachel returned with little news other than the girl being too entitled to his attention and that he needn't worry about her asking for him. He frowned at her answer but accepted it then. He had a battle to win.

He flew close to the Academy, a well kept castle and hit a wall. Not a literal wall mind you, but a barrier that kept him out of the Academy and away from Mary. He landed outside the Academy walls and saw the wards drawn on the walls. Someone inside knew about angels and put them up to keep them out. To keep him out.

With a flutter of wings, he took off to try to enter the Academy. If anyone asked him why he put so much effort to get inside, he would reply because it was his right, as angel of the heavenly host. He was fighting to protect the world and everyone on it.

Shouldn't that grant him entrance?

But the truth of the matter was that Mary hadn't tried to call for him all summer. Sure she prayed to him, small impersonal messages to keep fighting the good fight and to be safe. To protect her family and friends. She said nothing for herself. No prayers for her own well being, no wishes or dreams or hopes...it was like she was cutting him off. An emotion he could only identify as hurt had grew until he had no choice but seek Mary out and see her himself.

He couldn't breach the barrier so he did the only thing he could think of. He called from his cell phone, hoping that Mary still carried her own.

"Hello?" Mary's drowsy voice answered after five rings.

"Hello Mary."

"Castiel?" A silent pause. "Cas?"

"Yes. It is me." He pulled the phone away from his ear as a shriek followed his reply. "Mary please listen. I can't get in the Academy. It's been warded against me."

"Okay! Okay, hold on! I'll be down in a minute or two I promise. I'll open the gates and see if you can come in that way!" Mary's excited voice said through the phone. "Don't leave. I'll be right there I promise!"

Castiel waited patiently outside the large castle gate. Early morning dew settled on the blades of tall grass and fog was rolling in from the coast when he heard shouts from inside the castle. He frowned worriedly when he heard something happening on the other side of the gate, like scraping against the wood. He remained where he stood when the gate doors were pushed open. He expected to see a group of people pushing at the doors, seeing how they were over ten meters high and 5 meters wide.

He was surprised to see Mary pushing the doors with little effort. She wore a leather coat, Dean's it looked like, and blue PJ's with angel wing prints. When the gate doors were opened wide enough, she ran up to him, wrapping her arms around his legs.

"Castiel, you came to visit!" she pulled back from him and looked up. He could see how happy she was to see him. "I didn't think you would come, and I didn't ask because you were busy. And you really came all this way to visit!"

"Anywhere you would go, I would follow." Castiel put his hand on her head and she calmed down, of her own choice, not because he did anything. "This I swear Mary."

She smiled up at him when a voice called out."Oi! Mary where are you?"

Mary looked over her shoulder. "Oops. Here comes the taskmaster."

She turned back to Castiel. "Whatever happens, please, please don't smite him. He means well and I kinda like him." Castiel nodded as Spike appeared and wished that he hadn't promised her when he saw what he was.

"There you are! You are some cheeky little bint you know that Mary?" Spike ranted as he approached Mary, his eyes locked on her. "God, you practically gave everyone a bloody heart attack with your running around and-who is that guy?" He noticed Castiel standing behind her. His primitive hackles rose and he felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. "Mary get away from him."

"No way! He's my friend!" Mary protested, grabbing Castiel's hand.

"Mary do as I say. **Now**!" Mary jumped at the angry tone and let go of Castiel's hand. She took a step towards Spike when she felt Castiel's hand on her shoulder.

"Mary, that is a demon there." Castiel said, his blue eyes locked on the vampire. What was she doing with that creature?

"Don't smite him!" Mary said, tugging on his coat. "He has a soul!"

"Yes. I can see that." Castiel replied, his eyes seeing the light of the soul. How strange to see something so bright in a creature of darkness. "This creature, is he a good man?"

"Yes. He teaches me and watches out for me and he really is a nice guy once you get to know him. He's the one who came and told us about me being a Slayer and everything." Mary said in a rush.

Castiel looked down at Mary. "He is the one who told Dean?"

"Um, yes?" Mary squirmed under Castiel's stare. "Was it a bad thing?"

Castiel didn't answer as he looked up at the, pushing Mary behind him when Spike attacked, game face on in force. Mary cried out, covering her eyes with her hands as they fought. A few seconds went by before she pulled her hands down and saw that Castiel had pinned Spike to the ground, his hand pressed against the back of Spike's head.

"Cas, you promised!" Mary yelled, rushing forward to grab his hand. She pulled his hand back, using all her strength and sighed relieved when he let her. "Come on Cas, he's a good guy I swear."

"Get off me!" Spike yelled from the ground. "Mary run and get the other Slayers!"

"No! Spike, Cas is my friend. He's an angel." Spike scoffed, wincing when Castiel pressed him down. "Yeah right."

"She is right demon. I am an angel of the Lord." Castiel released Spike and stepped back, pushing Mary towards the doors as Spike pushed himself to his feet, herding Mary behind him. Much to his annoyance, Mary stepped besides him, ready to jump between the vampire and angel.

"Pull the other one!" Spike growled in game face, his feral yellow eyes glaring. "There's no such thing as angels. You may look like the Poofter, admittedly much smaller, a bit older looking, no caveman brow and blue eyes-"

"Then he looks nothing like Angel-" Mary said with a frown.

"But you're not an angel. They don't exist!" Spike finished firmly.

Castiel stood straighter and Mary hid a smile behind her hand as lighting flashed around them. The lighting cast black shadows against the castle walls. Shadows that didn't only reflected a twisted mirror of the man but long, black angled expanses. They extended across the walls, following the contours of the ground and top of the wall and met behind Castiel's back.

They were shadows of wings. Honest to God wings!

Spike stepped back, his hand tight on Mary's shoulder. "Bloody hell."

"See Spike? Angels exist." Mary looked up at him, drawing his attention to her by grabbing his hand. She gave him a smile. "But you can't tell anyone."

"Why not?"

"Because I ask you not to tell anyone." Mary stepped in front of him. "Spike, you can't tell anyone about Castiel being an angel. Trust me, it will be better if no one knows what he is. There's a war going on right now. If you want to keep me safe, you'll keep this secret."

"And if I don't?"

Castiel put his hands on Mary's shoulders.

"You'll hurt me." Mary said, looking away from Spike.

**"Hurt her and I shall throw you into the deepest darkest pit of Hell myself."** Castiel spoke in a deep growl, his blue eyes serious and solemn with his hands in fists at his side.

* * *

><p>And so ended the first time Spike met Castiel.<p>

It wasn't the only time they met that summer as Castiel reaffirmed his connection with Mary and Mary tried her best to bridge the gap between Spike and Castiel. Spike was wary around Castiel and Castiel didn't suffer Spike's presence for long periods of time but he did his best since Mary carried a friendship with Spike.

Over time, they've become something like companions where Mary didn't have to be around to act as a buffer between the two. They trusted each other to protect Mary and to help her in the mission she picked up after she left the Academy. To be there for her when things went south with her family. To help her to her feet when she fell. To let her lead them on the path of righteousness.

Castiel was sadden to know, as he watched Mary and Spike laugh together as Doc hurried about his business to keep her comfortable, that this period of his existence was coming to an end. Mary tied him to Dean, to the world of Man and all its glory that his Father had created. She is the reason he is fighting the war in Heaven, so people like her and Dean would have the peace they deserved at the end.

He sent another call to the angels above.

He can't let it end here.

There had to be a way to save her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Journal Entry of Mary Winchester Age 13<strong>_

_I am going to die._

_I am going to die young._

_I am going to die fighting._

_I am going to die alone._

_I am going to die._

_Five words have shaped my life since I was eleven years old._

_"Death is your gift."_

_Four words that weren't spoke directly to me but carry the truth of who I am._

_I am the Slayer._

_I kill vampires, demons and monsters that prey on the weak and helpless._

_I save the world so families can love and care for each other without fear of the creatures that wander the night. I save families. Because no one should know what it's like to have someone they love taken by a monster._

_**No one.**_

* * *

><p>The familiar leather bound journal sat on Mary's lap, open to one of her very first journal entries from a long time ago. About the time when she decided that she needed to do something with this power she had, even if it meant leaving home and her family to do it. Bits of notes about creatures and cases-some thoughts and questions and of course, it became a way to help her keep certain truths in place when the rumors of her life spread like wildfire through the supernatural world.<p>

She is in the medical wing slash nursery part of the ship, propped up with pillows on a stiff bed, one that she has apparently been in for the last two weeks since she and Spike closed the Hell's Gate. She's supposed to be resting but she doesn't feel like it. Something seems to be off but Spike and Castiel haven't told her anything so she knows it has something to do with her. Something bad that they don't want her to know about.

She should be pissed at them for keeping secrets but isn't. When the time comes, they will let her know. So for now, she flips to a blank page and starts to write in her journal as Spike continues to talk with her.

_**Journal Entry of Mary Winchester Age 16**_

_Spike is talking about the past. That is the first sign I know that something is wrong. Spike never likes to talk about the past unless it's related to how awesome he is._

_**"Dracula owes me twenty quid."**_

_**"If you had been alive during the 70's luv, you would have loved the punk scene, nothing like it I swear."**_

_**"Billy Idol stole his look from me, you know."**_

_Spike likes to talk big. He acts big. The Big Bad Vampire. __Formerly__ though he still acts like he is to keep up appearances__.__ It's all about appearances he once told me. Present yourself as a Big Bad Vampire, and it keeps the riff raff from thinking they can stand up against you. Fear and awe will throw creatures off their game, make it easier to do the job. The job that I accepted when I was 13 years old._

_Spike says that all it is, a job that I chose to do. But I know its different. I don't tell him because he gets all huffy and goes on this spiel about how destiny and fate is never proof that things are what they really are. He has this thing against accepting destiny and fate. So does my Dad. Castiel too._

_They don't believe it._

_Given what I know about their history, I understand._

_Spike used to be part of the Whirlwind, the Scourge of Europe who has killed two Slayers back when killing Slayers was a **BIG DEAL**. He knew the path he was going to follow. Until Drusilla got sick and he went to Sunnydale and it changed. Years in the making had him falling in love with a Slayer, the Slayer, so I'm told by everyone. She changed him. He __**died **__for her once._

_Castiel is an angel and all the angels worked for was for one goal. The End. The Apocalaypse was going to be the end that was written. But he changed that...with the help of my Dad, Grandpa Bobby and my Uncle Sam. He's __**died **__twice for them._

_Dad and Uncle Sam lives were being lead to the very point the angel wanted. Both were supposed to be vessels to the Archangel Michael and Lucifer, the fallen angel (yes they are very very real) and they were going to fight and that fight would destroy the world._

_They stopped it. Dad and Uncle Sam stopped it all by fighting against fate and destiny. They risked it all and won. But they lost._

_Dad lost Sam. Lost Adam who didn't belong in their world but was pulled in because of his bloodline._

_Blood._

_Spike says that in the end, its always about the blood._

_I used to think it was because he was just a vampire._

_But Castiel says its about the blood too. That if it weren't for the bloodline of the Novak's, he wouldn't be on earth._

_I think of my own bloodline sometimes. Not very hard because its kinda frightening to think of what I carry inside me. If Michael ever escapes, he can use me as a vessel. When Faith died, she passed the Slayer line to me. And the Slayer line was created by demonic essence._

_Angel bloodline._

_Slayer Line._

_Can I even be considered human?_

"What are you writing there luv?" Spike asks, leaning forward to see what she has written only to be hit on the head by her pen with a sharp tap. "Oi!"

"Nothing for you to see." Mary warned him, shaking her pen at him while closing the journal so he couldn't read what she wrote. "You can read it when I'm dead." A startled, pained look flashes across his face, surprising her before it disappears to be replaced by a sneer. "It's probably just girly stuff right? You're writing about boys and Feathers over there!"

They look towards the corner where Castiel has carved out for himself. He has been listening to the angel chatter since she woke up. Mary left him alone since she knew the war in Heaven has gotten worst. Signs all over the world have been popping up more and more as the fighting between the two sides escalated. It was why she was needed at the Hell's Gate instead of the angels. The angels could have cared less that Hell could have had an open path straight to earth.

Well, she was wrong.

Castiel cared, after all it was him who requested her presence at the Gate as he fought in another battle that was indirectly involved. She wished he could have called for her help earlier, she could have rounded up some Slayers stationed nearby, called in the Watcher's Council for some witches instead of grabbing her and Spike in Las Vegas and dumping them off with the words, "Keep them busy while I deal with those responsible." and leaving two angels to help out.

Don't get her wrong. She loves having angels around to help out. There is nothing cooler than seeing them smite the black eyes monsters, the inhuman strength and speed, and their lack of fear in the face danger. It warmed her to know that they are on her side...or at least on Castiel's side. They care nothing for her save that she is the Slayer who will be welcomed into Heaven when she dies. Even if they look down at her for having a demon as a travel companion and works with a witch.

Whatever. She's not the first Slayer in history to have done so.

"I'm not writing about Cas. Not now anyways. I'm just-writing some things down." Mary looks down at the leather journal, running her fingers over the worn leather. "You know, Mom gave this to me."

Spike gave a nod, thinking of the dark haired woman who is Mary's mom. A woman who had only an inkling of what she was getting herself into when she married Dean. He heard from Mary how Lisa met Dean a few times before, once when she was young and wild, and once when he rolled into town and saved the neighborhood kids from a monster, including Ben, Mary's older brother. The third time, she met him it was to warn her about the war between Heaven and Hell that almost ended the world. The fourth and final time, she met him was after the death of his younger brother, a man Mary said was Dean's whole world from the time he was a little boy.

Sam Winchester is the untouchable saint that Dean held up to the highest regard and who Mary loves even though she has never met him.

Lisa never mentions Sam. She said that because she never knew him personally that it feels strange to speak to her children about him. Dean doesn't speak about Sam directly. Most of the time it's a slip of the tongue when he says something and Sam's name pops out. The world stops, holds its breath, waiting for Dean to continue but he never does. He goes quiet, a furrow appears between his brows as if thinking of something to say but he never speaks again.

Lisa would step in and turn the conversation to another topic.

Lisa is a saint in disguise.

"I know." Spike replies.

"Dad used to keep a journal like this one. So did Grandpa John, Grandpa Bobby and-" she hesitates. "Uncle Sam." Mary's eyes shift to Castiel. "They all used to keep journals just like mine. They used to do the same thing I do but without the abilities of a Slayer."

"They were Hunters you know." Mary writes in her journal while speaking. "My family. They weren't born Hunters like some families I've come across are. My family are Hunters because of tragedy, because of demon attacks that tore away their whole world, leaving them drifting in a sea of despair and darkness. It's terrible. I am lucky, in a way that my birth into the supernatural came as a bright light followed by dreams of lifetimes fought with blood and tears."

"Very poetic luv." Spike remarks after she stops writing. "A little melodramatic though."

"What's life without a bit of drama?" Mary says, closing her journal. She doesn't feel like writing anymore if all her thoughts are turning dark. "Come on, let's go get some real food, not this rabbit food you have the crew stuff down my throat." She pushes the blankets off her legs and twists her hips around off the bed, pushing off it. "I'm thinking some artery blocking double cheeseburger with bacon-!"

She fell to the ground with a loud thump, startling Spike and Castiel. Spike is at her side instantly, helping Mary sit up as she rubs her face from when she hit it on the floor. "Ow! What the freakin' hell man!?" Mary complains.

"Mary! Are you okay luv?" Spike asks, holding her up with one arm.

"Idiot!" Mary snaps at him. Spike's eyes widen in surprise at her outburst. "No, I am not fine! I just fell on my face and it hurt!"

"Mary." She looks up to see Castiel standing over her, a dark look in his eyes. "Are you injured?"

Mary grimances, wiping the back of her hand over her face. "It's nothing I can't get over." She replied before frowning. She looked down at her legs, poking a thigh with a finger.

"What's with that face luv?" Spike asked.

"Spike." Her voice quivers and Spike feels a sharp lighting bolt of fear run down his spine. "I can't—I can't feel my legs."

* * *

><p>The effects of the curse happened rapidly after that incident. Spike helped Mary back to bed while Castiel took his leave to Heaven, urgently seeking a response aid in ridding Mary of the death curse she had. That left Spike to tell Mary the truth.<p>

"So, I'm dying." Mary says, her a sad look on her face. When Spike was telling her about the curse, he could see the disbelief on her face as he held her hand in his. Her hands weren't as warm as before. They seem to be cooler, soft to the touch. Limp in his grasp, not in motion from twirling a stake, holding a gun or a knife or tighten in fists. "And there is no cure to what I have. At least none that you have found right?"

"I'm sorry luv." Spike couldn't look in her eyes anymore, feeling like he failed to protect her; knowing that he failed. He failed to save someone he loved again.

"This sucks." Mary can feel tears leaking from her eyes and wipes them away even though more fall. "Gods, this sucks so much!" she cries, pulling her hand away from Spike to cover her face. "Spike I—I'm so sorry!"

Spike jerked his head up at her cry. "No, you-you don't have anything to be sorry about luv. It's me, it's my fault this happened to you!" He cups her face in his hands. "God, I should've just pissed off when I saw you. A little girl with wings-a smiling girl who laughed carelessly with her family. I did this to you."

"I don't want to die Spike." Mary says, looking into his blue eyes that are torn between sadness and anger. "I have so many things to do yet. I haven't saved enough people-there's so much I haven't done yet that I promised to do!"

She pulled Spike closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him so that he was practically lying on the bed with her. He felt the wetness of tears on his neck, letting her cry. This was the worst. How could this happen? Why be so cruel to let a girl full of life, slowly feel her life leave her instead of taking her suddenly?

Mary was never good at goodbyes.

She hated them, she told him once. She's hated them ever since Grandpa Bobby left their house, promising to see her at her birthday. She made him cross his heart or hope to die. The next time she heard his name, she found that he was dead.

For the longest time, she thought she killed him by making him promise to come back.

But when she got into the hunting and Slayerhood, she found that some promises were impossible to keep. That no matter how much you fought or struggled or ran, that some promises were made to be broken. A boy named Joseph had taught her that.

After a while her tears slowed but didn't stop. She pulled away from him but still kept him close enough that he could feel her breathe on his skin.

"Spike?"

"Yeah luv?" His hand is moving down her back, rubbing soothing circles to help calm her. He pauses when she doesn't speak. "What is it Mary?"

"Don't tell my Dad." Mary pulls back to look him in the eye. Her eyes are puffy and wet but clear and sad. "Please, don't let my family know that I died."

"What are you-"

"Because if Dad finds out that I'm dead, he'll lose it completely! He's gone through so much that if he finds out-it'll kill him. My grandpa's died by supernatural means. So did my grandma. Uncle Sam and Adam are-they're in Hell."

Spike frowns. He never heard about that.

"-everyone my Dad knows had died by something supernatural. It was hell for him when he found out that his daughter, his little girl turned out to be the Slayer." Mary tries to push herself up but her right arm is losing sensation. Spike helps her to a sitting position. "It's why I left."

"I couldn't stand the look in his eyes. That fear every time I stepped outside the door. That one day, I wouldn't come back. That he'd get a visit from the Council or a phone call. It was tearing into him and I never wanted to hurt him like that. I love my Dad too much to do that to him. To Mom or Ben and Jo or Johnny." Mary stops to breathe, making them both realize that she had been panicking. She can feel her heart pound in her chest and though it comforts her it always makes her realize that she is fragile.

She could and would die.

_Eventually._

It was always _someday_, _one day_, _years from now_ or _when pigs fly_.

This was too soon.

This was...**_now_**.

"Spike. I need my phone. I need to-I need to call Dad and let him know that I'm still alive."

Spike looks at her, unsure whether to follow her orders or try to changed her mind in the matter. Why lie to the one person she loves more than anything? Why give him the hope that one day, she'll walk through the doors of her childhood home for a visit with the family?

"Mary, I don't think-"

"Please Spike. I can't hurt him like that. I can't leave him thinking that I died in the cold, alone and probably frighten and bleeding. He can't have that image floating in his head." Mary pleaded, grabbing his arm. "I can't let him. He's my-Dad."

_'Dean Winchester, I envy the love she carries for you.'_ Spike thought as he nodded and reached inside his coat for the replacement cell phone the bugs got for him. _'Don't say anything that you would regret. Don't hurt her.'_

Mary gives him a bright smile as he hands her the phone. She wipes her eyes, the smile never leaving her face as she presses in her home number and holds it up to her ear. It rings once, twice, thice and for a moment, Spike's nonbeating heart clenches as it rings for a fourth time, afraid that no one will pick up the phone when a gruff voice answers.

"Hello?"

"Daddy? It's Mary."

There's a long long pause.

"Mare?"

"Yeah, I'm alive." Amazingly, the smile on Mary's face grows bigger, so glad that she is able to talk to her father, the man she loves and admires so much.

"Jesus Christ Mary!" Mary bursts into tears at hearing the breaking of Dean Winchester's voice, both of them trying to soothe the other while trying to keep it together but failing completely. Spike settles himself down next to her, holding her hand in his own as Mary and Dean speak through the barriers that had built up between them.

* * *

><p><strong>In Heaven...<strong>

"Are you certain? This is absolute?" Castiel asked, his voice thundering, vibrating and yet calm as the sea.

"Yes. There is no changing the path that she is on."

Castiel stood alone as he fell apart.

* * *

><p>AN: Just a short update for a story I feel has been neglected. It's close to the end now. :)<p> 


End file.
